delay in BLOG due to SAD

Have you ever heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder-it stinks, and after many many years of unexplainable depression when I have a seemingly okay life, I have found that this is the pattern of my life. I look back over the years and this is the only common factor to my depression periods-FALL and WINTER-every year like clockwork. I have driven boyfriends away, had lower grades in school, wear clothes out of the unfolded heap that mounts, gotten behind at work, not called back friends, and slept ALOT in the FALL. I have SAD and I am learning to deal with it. But, it makes it hard to get even the regular stuff in like showering and dusting, let alone Christmas trees, cards, college courses, learning records (for work), shopping, infant care, four year old care, you get the picture. I can't even get my email checked, let alone blog. So here is my catch up post...a bunch of one liners(or longer...) to catch up my blogger buddies and family on our life.

I finished one of my four CLAD classes that have to be finished by Dec 31-one, but the biggest one at that. Gotta start another one...

Adam had a fun show with his band Quick Before Sinking at Java Bliss. It was mostly family of the band though. They are really good I think so come see them at the Festival of Lights on the Main Street Walking Mall on Dec 17 from 7-10 or Java Bliss on Dec 20 from 7-9 or the Riverside Plaza Main on Dec 27. Aggie will be there and she is always worth the trip :)

We went to Disneyland with the girls. It is always fun to go with a baby-they are in such amazement. When we rode Small World-the Christmas version-she sat straight up and held the bar watching open mouthed in awe.

Adam and Aggie attended MacKenzie's Narnia play at CAT. She came home beaming that you only have to be six to be in their plays-the countdown to my inevitable "theater mom" days has begun. Adam has already begun to teach her the Lucy lines with an English accent.

We took our Christmas picture at the Life Arts building in Riverside. It was a fun morning as we traded photography skills with Adam and Alyssa. After taking both family shots we took some of the four kids on the grass. They are so cute, but I got a little lump in my throat. It kinda felt like we were trying to document their young friendship before they are separated by the move. Sucky.

We hosted Thanksgiving for my Dad, brother Rick and The Ellis family. Aggie had Mackenzie trapped in her room for hours-though I think he liked it. It was wonderful (Adam makes a mean turkey, my mashed potatoes are great if I do say so, and Leslie makes a mean "pumpkin"-really sweet potato-pie), but my poor Gwyn had horrible GERD problems as I was trying to wean her from the prevacid and we spent the meal and pie time screaming in the bedroom. Good times.

I was a crazy woman trying to be a good friend and try something new and went out Black Friday shopping with Emily. OH MY GRACIOUS. We were cute strolling the mall with our babies strapped to our chests in matching black Moby Wraps, and I got some fancy dresses for my fancy girl, but it was craziness. I waited in line for 45 minutes at H&M and, I must say, pulled off some super mom attachment parenting. I had a diaper bag on my back, $150 worth of fancy dresses on my arm, my bluetooth headset in my ear so I could call Em and Adam with voice activation for various things that came up, and nursed and rocked Gwyn to sleep in the Moby Wrap while standing in line. Though I looked like a dork or freak I am sure (depending on your view of nursing or strollers), I was proud.

We went to the Mission Inn Lighting and it was fabulous..and crowded. I had a broken toe and this point and was petrified that someone would step on it. We decorated the house all day with nativities, a tree and outside light and then went to Taco Station for yummy tamales beforehand to kick off Christmas. The McIntyre and Thornell crowd were there and we got to see the switch on and fireworks with them. Gwyn loved the fireworks except for the grand finale. She looked worried but I just kept smiling and saying YEH! and she caught on. Adam spent $14 on plastic light sabers (one didn't even make it home unbroken). But I got a cool piece of Hispanic Tattoo inspired metallurgy art from a new shop on the walking mall.

My wonderful brother Rick stayed with up for a few days. He help cooked Thanksgiving, put up lights and take care of the girls. He is awesome to have around and my girls love him. We love you Uncle Rick.

We went to a Goodbye Lance lunch at the Grove Grille. Gwyn was having a hard time and I was almost grateful. I could totally avoid the fact that they are leaving. I have been to so many of these things in the last few years, and I don't want another friend to be so far away. I guess I should deal cause it is happening soon.

We went to Gwyn's 6 month check up and she is 16 pounds now. She is growing well even with the GERD. We aren't ready to go off meds and will try again at 7 months. She is rolling over, starting to make jokes (like blowing raspberries on my arm) and sitting up. She rocks on all fours, but doesn't crawl yet. We are hoping it will be by Christmas. We got her vaccinations-which I hate. Adam and I researched it and decided to vaccinate (always asking for the non preservative kind), but I am not comfortable with it. If Adam didn't come to the appointment I know I would decline. I make him hold her and this time Aggie and I even left the room. He said she looked at him this time with anger like Why aren't you protecting me? I just have so may qualms...

I had work meetings this week and even though they are only 2 hours on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday morning-Gwyn was not down with sitting peacefully like a poster child. Who would be. She wanted to be on the go, or nursing, or sleeping, or anything but sitting. I think I will be starting to leave her with Adam. It is time.

On that note I tried to leave her in Nursery Care for the first time-not quite ready for that one. I don't have Nursery friendly parenting techniques. I use bidegradable gdiaper which they are not willing to try to change, I use a sling which they are frightened of, I don't let my baby cry-ever-which they always let them go for like 10m before getting mom, I hold my baby most of time and they seem to only pick up if they cry, I nurse on cue instead of on a schedule so it is unpredictable and often, and I have a GERD baby who cannot under any circumstance be bounced. Needless to say she was screaming to be nursed, rocked and with heartburn after 25 minutes. Oh, well-just not a good fit for attachment parents. I knew it was a commitment when I chose it. My four year is an independent as can be-so I know it works out in the long run. We'll try again later.

Gwyn took her first bath in the large bath instead of the sink. She was soooo excited that all four arms were flailing. She has so much fun.

Ok, so that is a recap-I will try to not get so far behind. I need to get a lightbox for the SAD thing. Then I have to find time to sit still by a light for 30 minutes. Maybe I could Blog...