I love this quote I found on my favorite new friend's site.

No sorrowful tears, no beating of the breast
For a safe repose has taken me.
I dance ring dances with the blessed saints
In the beautiful fields of the righteous.
- Ancient Christian tomb inscription

Beautiful, isn't it?

My Mother's Journey

My lovely mother has left for a 6 week trip. She is going to see family and spend time healing and listening to God. I am so proud of her for taking this period of unexpected freedom to deal with a difficult life change. She could have just moved on, gotten a place to live, stayed with the same unhappy job, tried to make the best of it. But, she didn't. She stepped out in fear and faith at the same time. She packed everything up in storage, she quit her job and she went. I am amazed at her strength and trust. I know she feels so unsure of where the ground is and where she will land, but taking this time to find it will make it all the more solid. These are cupcakes we made for her on her FREE DAY as we named it. She is free to find who God truly wants her to be. I know she won't find all that purpose on a trip, that takes a lifetime of searching...but I am glad she is brave enough to really start the journey.

My altar call Jack-o-lantern

I love teaching with metaphor. I try to learn from the example Jesus gave by always using this effective teaching technique whenever possible. A friend of mine shared a way to go through basic beliefs in Christ while carving a pumpkin. It sounded good, so I tried it this year as we were alone for carving. (We usually throw a big party for Pumpkin Carving as I LOVE it, but took a year off with baby and all-we will do it next year!!!) But, I am glad we did.

Basically the metaphor is that everyone has goopey yuckiness (sin) in their pumpkin (heart/soul/life) with some bits of good-the seeds. The pumpkin can't clean itself out, or any other pumpkins for that matter. But, someone greater can come along and clean it out (God). It is nasty and gross (Jesus had to die) to do, but must be done to make way for the jack-o-lantern. Then the pumpkin is carved into something new and beautiful to become the jack-o-lantern (just like we are formed into a new and beautiful creation). And only when we let that carving happen (the changes in our character by loving and helping others) can the light shine out (the light of hope and Jesus' story). As the metaphor grew more and more complex with our conversation and carving it even made me more and more thankful for the beauty of God's gift to me and a desire to let my light glow beautifully through.

She responded with such great discussion and questions. It was awesome. She said the sweetest and most sincere prayer that she wanted to be carved like a jack-o-lantern and let her light shine out without the yuckiness inside. It was beautiful.

As I tucked her in I told her that in the Bible it says that God wrote HER name down in His book and the angels were dancing around in celebration and that whenever she was truly sorry she was forgiven. Her eyes sparkled in the nightlight glow. She was so excited she had to get up and tell Daddy. As she drifted to sleep she said "Where do you want to go in our dreams?" (we often meet up for playdates in our dreams) and we decided to go to the party in heaven. We are going to glitter so brightly we are like stars and have long hair with curls and beautiful legs and arms to dance around. Sounds fun. You can come too if you like.

Faith and Anne Lamott

I went for a run this morning as I am training for the Mission Inn 5K Run on Nov 11. (I really need to kick it up a notch as I am running with Adrianne Ashley who has run a marathon-a marathon!) Anyway, while I run I listen to books and right now I am listening to Plan B by Anne Lamott. Alyssa turned me on to her back in Anne's Traveling Mercies days and I am in love. Anne is so raw, and honest, and mixed up, and profound, and crude, and beautiful all at the same time. She is so real. We are reading this book for small group so I am really trying to pay attention because I actually have to talk about it with others...so this is the second time I have listened. She said (actually a quote from a priest friend)

...that the opposite of Faith is not Doubt, but rather certainty...

That hit me. I doubt a lot...a lot. More than a pastor's wife is supposed to-or at least admit that she does. I know it is good to question. I know that on the outside. But that is not the day to day reality of living in the limelight of ministry. But, this reality made me realize that when I am certain then I don't have Faith. Faith is stepping out and living a life even amidst the doubts. I love Anne.

Showering in the Dark

My baby girl Gwynie is a very alert little girl...so she wakes at the slightest sound. Babies need their sleep so we have created her womb room-she sleeps in the master bathroom (the quietest room) with white noise playing while she rocks in a travel baby swing (to combat the GERD). Now, I shower at night so I don't have to blow dry my hair (because who has time for that?)--so since she has moved in I have been showering in the dark. As I was shaving my legs by feel tonight I started pondering...showering in the dark is kinda like my Faith. I always feel like I am stumbling around in the dark, but somehow come out the otherside cleaner. You have to have faith that your Faith is enough. I have to have faith that I can feel all the leg hairs and not miss a line. I guess it boils down to I love God, I want to be like Him, I want to love people unconditionally like Jesus taught us. The rest is in the dark sometime, but I always come out cleaner on the otherside...