I am a big believer in the power of
femininity and woman's body to carry out the amazing feat of
childbirth. I trust a good
doctor to help out when medical crisis is involved, but I don't think healthy childbirth is that. I had natural births, not because I felt I had something to prove as cynics accused me of, but because I believed I could do it, that I wanted to do it. I wanted to experience all the joy and beauty, and along with that came some pain, yes, but nothing my body wasn't created to handle. Every contraction helped move my baby, squeeze the excess fluid from her, prepare her. I didn't like intervention like monitors,
IVs, etc and avoided them when I could. I had a
doula at both births and loved them both dearly. So did my husband. He could just be my loving husband and experience it with me, not have me depending on him to know every answer, know how to make me comfortable, know what to tell the nurses, know how to fix it.
Doulas relive tension. I highly, highly, highly recommend them. I love this beautiful thing of birth so much that I have often times of late thought of becoming a
doula myself. I think I am done with my own births, but if I could be there to help bring other beautiful babies into the world in as natural and peaceful way as possible...I think I would love that. I love supporting women, empowering them to believe in themselves and their bodies. But, today--oh, today--my best friend was having a baby. She had to have every interference in the book from
pitocin to her bag of waters
artificially broken to an
epidural. She is not as
opinionated as me, but she has had two other children fairly naturally and I know she wanted the same. But, they induced her early because she lives far from medical facilities. I just found out it came out OK and the epidural helped her body relax and she was able to push the baby out after her body moving through transition. But for the last two days I have felt for her and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and baby and just bring them
safety and peace. I wanted her to have that wonderful moment of putting baby on her chest all sloppy and singing to her while
nursing for the first time. I wanted baby's new life to begin with peace. God answered our prayers, they had those moments. But, I had to realize it is not my birth. It is not my birth. It is not my birth. I can't control it. I can't make decisions. I can't save it. It is not my birth. I just have to love and support. Being a
doula would be hard on these days. I am seeing both sides. I talked with my
doula and she was amazing, but I have to keep repeating my new
doula mantra. It is not my birth, just support this experience.
Hmmm...
