Yay, for Le Leche League!

Gwyneth recently staged a nursing strike-Adam said he could imagine her with a little picket sign crawling around with a grouchy little look... She is getting some teeth on the top (I figured out after lots of parenting detective work) and refused to nurse from 10am yesterday until we had success at about 8pm! I was bursting to say the least-since she is only 7 months and nursing is still her primary nutrition every 2-3 hours. It was horrible...I would lay her back into position and she would wail this horrible yell I have never heard from her, or she would just put her mouth on and look at me sideways with no latch-on and then sit up crying, or she would bite me and cry immediately from guilt...nursing has always been a beautiful bond between me and my babies and a way I bring comfort and intimacy as well as nourishment to my girls, so this was heartbreaking for me. I worried (since she is eating solids twice a day now and moving on to finger food) that she didn't want it or was weaning. I had to wean Agatha at almost 2 years old-because I wanted to stop-not because she did-so I was not ready for these thoughts. It was hard, and I realize I may need to prepare myself for Gwyn to move on before I am ready. But, I knew it was too early to move on now. I pumped, I gave her some in a bottle (should have used a cup and no artificial nipples I realize now) and she sucked it down. AHHH! What was wrong? SO, finally I called my LLL Leader, Rebecca Konegen, and she is my lifesaver. She has saved me from three nursing catastophies with Gwyn and I owe her some crazy big attachment parenting points! She told me to take a bath with Gwyn and try to nurse in there with the skin to skin, comfy atmosphere. I have to admit it seems wierd to those who have never birthed or nursed-but it worked! (As did the admittedly wierd suggestion of boob soaking in a sink of hot water for mastitis/clogged milk duct, among other helpful things she has told me) Yay for LLL! Yay for Becky! Yay for Gwyn who is now nursing again, gently and with a little pain, but nursing!!! Double Yay for Gwyn who is also crawling now. She started on New Year Day and has now started to really get around. SO many big things happening in her little life-it is no wonder a nursing strike was staged!

Dinner and a Show

Friday we went to Disneyland with the girls. Gwyn is beginning to explore the world so much and she was so fun. We went to the Pirate Island (Old Tom Sawyer Island) and she LOVED the foliage. Her arms were continually outstretched from the baby carrier to try and grabbed leaves as I walked the paths. I let her grab a couple and she pulled them off and carried them around with her, inspecting them with great enthusiasm. She sat straight up on Small World, holding the front bar, and watched with open mouth (with drooling spilling down her chin) in amazement. She also loved the Tiki Room-but it was time to nurse and she was hungry and tired...so she would nurse a little and then pull off, turn around, watch the show, nurse a little, watch, nurse a little...it was like dinner and a show! Babies are so sincerely interested and curious-it is a beautiful thing.

Concentrating on my family

Today was hard. I am feeling overwhelmed. I have too much work-I think I need to cut back...again. I have too much school-to keep my credential...for work. I am loosing yet another close friend to a move I think. My husband's amazing, blessing on my life assistant is moving home to her family. I tried to get involved in a few ministries to connect with women again...and now with reflection think I moved on too quickly. The kids are very demanding on my time with a GERD infant and four year old who homeschools, doesn't watch TV and recently gave up her nap. My house is a wreck with laundry everywhere, dishes piled up and trash to be taken out. I have cried alot today. I have prayed alot today. But then my daughter and I came across this picture. I am nursing here, I am with my girls, I am a mom. That is where I belong right now. That is where I have chosen to be. I need to cherish these moments and be in these moments. Everything else can wait. It is lonely here though. I have girlfriends to raise kids with and they just keep moving away. What is that? I know they are a phone call away-but it isn't the same. I guess it all boils down to God and your immediate family. I need to be content in that. I need to depend on that. I still feel sad today, though. Maybe it is the rainy weather. Maybe it is the Fall. Maybe I just need to find the beauty in what is in front of me-those two precious girls.