SOOO much to do...

So I work for this school and we start attendance days on Tuesday the 19th. My daughter starts schooling at home for K through them that day as well. I have spend 4 of the last eight workdays (I work 4 days a week from home usually) in meetings away from home. And I still have SO MUCH TO DO for my first meetings with my families on Thursday and Friday next week. I know it will even out...but man, if only I could just be mommy right now. I know I like (and need) the money. I know I don't want to be dirt poor. I know I paid all that money for a credential that we are still paying off. I know I want to do this so we can stay in ministry and my husband can be the Pastor he his extremely called to be. I know I kinda secretly like having some adult thoughts to think and a career to develop. But, I look at my cute, precious kids and just wish I were playing games on the floor and creating this euphoric childhood of memories. I wish my house were cleaner and I was doing chores instead of work during nap. I wish it were less hectic. I hope I am making the right choices. I hope their memories of me are not of stress, but of love. Don't we all hope that? I mean look at them. Who would ever want to stare at an email computer screen rather than these two?

(Don't you love their matching shoes? Gwyn is so excited when she is like Aggie-and she LOVES shoes right now. That's my girl!)

Boating with Dad

We went boating down San Diego way with my Dad today. He has owned his boat for almost two years and this is the first I have been on it! With babies and the drive to Chula Vista is has been a chore to get there. But is was a wonderful day once it came.

Though Gwyn hatted the drive there and really hated the lifejacket we had some wonderful moments. We swam in the ocean (Adam said I would be the cool mom who jumped in when I compained about the freezing water and that it would mess my hair-I had a homeschool mom meeting afterward really), sunned on the front deck (Gwyn was annoyed that she could not roam free), had a picnic lunch and cruised the harbor with the sea breeze in our hair (or knotting your hair-take your pick).

It was nice to spend time with my dad in his element-I miss him.

Plus, my baby brother (almost 21 so not so baby anymore) came down to boot. He and my dad are peas in a pod (in a good way), so it made for a fun day.

My favorite moment was when my baby fell asleep sitting up against me and my normally wiggly five year old snuggled in for a 10 minute cuddle while we cruised the harbor. The boys were distracted with driving the big toy-I mean boat. The wind was wipping. The sea mist off the back was misting my face. The engine was roaring so I didn't have to talk to anyone. It was such a peaceful mommy moment. All I had to do was hold them close and kiss my girls heads.

An Olympic Sport: Clothes Shopping with kids

I never go shopping anymore. I know my body and the stores/brands that fit-so I just order online. Who wants to try on clothes with two kids crawling on you? And my alone time or date time is so limited I don't want to spend it trying on clothes in unflattering lights worrying about whether these purchases are worth spending the limited funds we have for free spending. With that, I ordered my Easter dress online (I love a new spring dress-it's a tradition) and it is back-ordered until April 28th-which I found out today! SO, I dosed my teething/fever child with Tylenol and bribed my four year old with dinner at a fast food establishment and went shopping to one store within 5 minutes of my house. And there it was-A femine white and pink ensemble-shining like a beacon-AAAHHH! (choir with organ) I wanted to try it on because it is a junior's store (reference Annie) so we went in the dressing room. I set up the blanket with toys in front of the mirror and set to stripping. It looked cute and my four year old approved-at the top of her lungs. She was singing SOOO loud and I kept having to stop her from jumping or yelling or...acting like we were on a playground. Then while I am half dressed Gwyn crawled under the door and across the isle so fast I couldn't grab her. By the time I covered my boobs and got out she was gone! I got down on my knees and scanned...she was in another stall with another woman who was changing!!!! I knocked and the woman looked down...turned Gwyn around... and she crawled out. Good times. Then as we were checking out she started fever screaming cause she wanted the sparkly choking hazards at the register and just didn't understand why she didn't feel good. Agatha was complaining that this was just a Mommy store and where where all the clothes for her and why couldn't she get something sparkly and fancy and couldn't I just watcher do her ballet skip and...Whew-It is an Olympic sport! We did catch an Easter bunny on the way out and I had to pay for this moment cause I left home without my camera (shame on me). Gwyn was pointing and bouncing in the sling, she was so excited. She sat right down and poked and giggled at the big bunny. I think she wanted to take him home. Agatha, of course informed him that she knew he was just a person in a costume and that the REAL reason for Easter was that Jesus died on the cross and then rose from the dead and went to heaven so we could. I swear-she laid it all down-informing him that eggs and bunnies and chicks were just symbols for new life-like Spring and Jesus' new life and our new life in heaven! He just gave her a thumbs up.

where have I been?

I have this little saying that I say when I sit down at my computer- "I need to make money before I spend it"...so I seem to have work stuff to do rather than blogging...esp. because my time is more and more limited with my 9 1/2 month old who hates it when I stare at the screen instead of her and who is also sleeping less and less nowadays. Ahh...being a working mom! So I have to catch up with all I missed! Here is a pic post (that took me over 48 hours!!! see what I mean?) about the last month of my life. Then I can post meaty things again...

Gwyn loves the sandbox-don't worry we have a CatScram to keep out the cats...but I think she eats more than she digs.

Agatha and I have taken to tea for Snacktime. It is so fun.

We went to Disneyland with the Foors. They are so easy to be with. I love them!

We are getting involved in the Grove Homeschool Group. What a wonderful group of women and kids! Aggie and I have made new friends and connected with old ones. I am so excited to connect with families that will be around when our other friends go off to school all day.

I made name cookies for the preschool class party. Not exactly sugar free (nice job with the rules Room Mom)-but I felt like SuperMom in my daughter's eyes.

Adam and I ran together in a 5K. Not an impressive time-35:10-but we ran with no real stops. I loved running beside my hubby!

And we ran a 1K with Aggie. She was amazing and I think sucked up the time with just Mom and Dad. Gammy was with Gwyn-thanks Mom!

My mom got her own place. I miss having her around daily and so do my girls. It is a great next stage for all of us, but we are all excited when she drops by to borrow the clothesline.

We met Baby Audrey Rodriguez. A little ball of blessing. They are quite a beautiful, new little family and making great, concious parenting decisions!

Mike helped me get Adam into a sling. Gwyn loves them and though he uses other baby wearing carriers well, he neverfelt comfy in these. Yay!!! Isn;t he a cute Daddy?

We have been outdoors with the beautiful weather, hanging clothes and swinging. Gwyn has gotten so she expects it...pointing and grunting if it does not come!

Date night with just Agatha! It was amazingly easy with just a 4 1/2 old! Whew-life is different with two and a baby. I felt like I was missing an arm half the night! (And I carried a purse instead of a diaper bag!)

We attended a ChuckECheese party! That place overwhelms me-and my quiet little Gwyn. She lost it at one point and would not come out of the sling. Aggie (the extrovert) had a blast, but did comment that it was loud. We have such a quiet life.

All in all, life has found a bigger kid rhythm. The girls are playing together a bit more. Gwyn is crawling up on things and standing. She wants to walk with our hands everywhere. She is showing interest in the potty so we are experiementing-with great success. I think her love language is Words of Praise-cause she will pee and/or poop everytime for a clap and a YEY!...She has pooped almost everyday for a couple weeks! We are getting out more and getting more schoolwork done. Agatha is maturing so much I see the changes daily. Kids are so beautiful. I love being a Mommy. God gave me the most precious girls. They make me smile.

My face painting skills

Look what I did! Agatha always pines over the $20 face painting masterpieces at Disneyland so I took a picture of the example last time and recreated it-glitter and all. I was quite proud and so was she-plus we didn't have to pay $20 for something that washes off or itches cause my kid has my sensitive skin. I love these face paints I found through a local chilren's museum. They are soap based, but not waxy-so they don't irratate and they don't smear. Have fun being the coolest and cheapest mom on the block. You can be your own party clown-without the nose.

The pap from hell...almost

If you are a guy, you may want to stop here, unless you are OK with pap-smear/OBGYN and nursing/boob talk. I had a pap scheduled for tomorrow, but it had to be rescheduled for today. It would have been easy to slip away by myself tommorrow, but not today cause Adam works and we have to get Aggie to preschool. Gwyn fell asleep 20 minutes before I had to leave, I was late because I didn't want to wake her, she was crying and wanted to nurse rather than hang with Adam, things were stressful to say the least. I just wanted to be alone! Finally Adam was able to slip away with her (after I nursed in a gown with a drape over my lap-fun) and I fell asleep waiting for my doc on the table (ahh, sleep deprevation). Then I was having an embarrasing girly problem I had to voice out loud to my doc (again-fun) and he tells me I have low estrogen levels like menopause! So that is why I found a wisker growing out of my chin yesterday! Adam said he would tummy bump me later cause I feel so manly. Turns out nursing turns down the estrogen and mine is extra low. Nursing is crazy. I love it and think it is beautiful and amazing. But, low estrogen levels? It is great because it makes it harder to get pregnant which my body needs a break from biologically, but bad for my feminity. I also just got over a breast infection. Crazy fun there. I had to hang over a sink of hot water with my boobs in there to help them let down and release the plug that was causing the infection everytime I was going to nurse. Embarassing. I made everyone leave the room...but can I say it felt amazing. Only a nursing mom would understand that-but seriously, being a woman is wierd sometimes.

I love playing dress up!

We visited the Children's Discovery Museum of the Desert today. It was awesome-I highly, highly recommend it if you have kids under 10ish and can make the drive. (I wish we had something like this in Riverside-maybe Adam and I should start it?) They have crafty arts, painting a VW bug, blocks, magnets, still camera movies to make (Adam loved), optical illusions, right brain/left brain (I rocked at isolating my right brain-apparently the hardest exhibit in the museum to do), weaving a loom, and a baby area to name a few things. It also has tons of imaginative play stuff from archaeologist, to veterinarian, to pizza chef, to grocery shopping, to dress up!!! Aggie and I loved this! Most of our dress up at home is in a size child 4/6 but everything here was thrift shop finds and in my size. Oh, fun. I recruited kids and dressed them up, found stuff for Aggie and had to put a few things on myself. I was the only mom-or adult for that matter, but I don't care. It was so fun to put on those awful prom dresses from my youth (what were we thinking with those sleeves?) and be sassy in fur coats. I love dress up!

Stinks to be second born

Gwyn loves the bath nowadays. She plays this game where she splashes with all arms and legs in hopes that she will get her bather wet. When she does she squeals with delight. But, I have to admit that we don't bathe her everyday...or even every other. Her big sister had horrible diaper rash if we didn't bathe everyday, but she was also our only charge. We try to give Gwyn the same treatment as sister had in so many respects, but on this one we fail miserably. Poor Gwyn, other than having a funny older sister to idolize and entertain her, it stinks to be second born.

Some Kind of Professional

I had a harried meeting today! We forgot to give Gwyn her GERD meds until 4 hours late so she was uncomfortable, arching, whining, grunting and urping chunky loads of breastmilk all over me in a work meeting today. The meeting was at a bookstore and I had no table which today seemed annoying even though I usually don't. I had to wash my hair today, but had no time to blow dry so it was a frizzy mess. I had time only for mascara which I made sure I wore so as not to get the comments-Oh, you look so tired! I am still in my chubby clothes (because I am still chubby) and my shirt was too big and my pants too tight. Neither really matched my shoes. Her kids thought the burps and drool were yucky and a bit disgusted by it. I tried to conduct myself in as professional a manner as possible, but with all these variables I felt a mess. My job is great because I can bring my kids to some things, but today that seemed a mistake. I tried to be professional when presenting my information, and luckily the parent is a friend as well...but I couldn't listen to her kids read with mine yelling in all our ears and I just felt rushed. Oh, and Gwyn pooped half way through so I had to leave early to have time to change her before picking up my preschooler. Holy Moley-a millennium woman with so many hats. I don't feel like I wore any ONE of them well this morning.

Concentrating on my family

Today was hard. I am feeling overwhelmed. I have too much work-I think I need to cut back...again. I have too much school-to keep my credential...for work. I am loosing yet another close friend to a move I think. My husband's amazing, blessing on my life assistant is moving home to her family. I tried to get involved in a few ministries to connect with women again...and now with reflection think I moved on too quickly. The kids are very demanding on my time with a GERD infant and four year old who homeschools, doesn't watch TV and recently gave up her nap. My house is a wreck with laundry everywhere, dishes piled up and trash to be taken out. I have cried alot today. I have prayed alot today. But then my daughter and I came across this picture. I am nursing here, I am with my girls, I am a mom. That is where I belong right now. That is where I have chosen to be. I need to cherish these moments and be in these moments. Everything else can wait. It is lonely here though. I have girlfriends to raise kids with and they just keep moving away. What is that? I know they are a phone call away-but it isn't the same. I guess it all boils down to God and your immediate family. I need to be content in that. I need to depend on that. I still feel sad today, though. Maybe it is the rainy weather. Maybe it is the Fall. Maybe I just need to find the beauty in what is in front of me-those two precious girls.

Sisters

I am always "protecting" 4 month old Gywn from the craziness of her four year old sister Agatha. But, judging from this picture I think I need to lighten up. I need to lighten up about lots of things, but that is beside the point. I think I need to let their sisterly adoration blossom under my watchful eye. They are beautiful together.

A little bit of fancy

Aggie and I had an extra hour this week and Gwyn was in a great mood, so we marched into a nail salon and ordered up two pedicures. We had so much fun with the hot water spas and massages. We even got flowers on our big toes! I painted hot pink to match Aggie on Gwynie's toes. It was a fun, fancy day with my girls-a glimpse of my future...woohoo!

Kid Music that Soothes My Soul

This is music for the soul. My quest in children's music is to find stuff that my kids enjoy and stuff that doesn't drive me crazy with low musical quality all rolled into one. I can't handle kid's choirs with echoey reverb and synthesizers-sorry kids. This is the find of my quest. I listen to it even without Aggie in the car. Elizabeth Mitchell is a folky alto who uses guitar, piano and funky percussion combine into tracks that just soothe as you ride along. We all (even my music connoisseur husband) sing with the wholesome, fun and quirky songs and somehow come out more peaceful on the other side. Elizabeth Mitchell is my new favorite. She has other three CDs: You Are My Sunshine, You are my Little Bird, You are my Flower and a CD/book Catch the Moon-all just as good.

A few of my other recommendations are For the Kids, For the Kids Too!, Here Come the ABCs, and Late Last Night.

Breastfed baby breath

Isn't breastfed baby breath the best? It smells so sweet. I was cuddled up with Gwynie last night, drifting off with that intoxicating smell giving me the mommy chills...it was a serene moment-and then reality hit as she squirmed and stuck her little finger all the way up my nose. Ah, the joys of co-sleeping.

Where are the Undies?

I dressed my Preschooler in a rush today to get her out the door (we spent our morning watching a huge tree get cut down across the street). After she left with Dad I was cleaning up and putting her dirty clothes in the laundry...I found everything but the undies. Now we have friends coming over tonight so I really wanted to find the undies so they didn't sit on the couch and find dirty undies stuffed in the cushions or something. I looked everywhere-no undies. I picked her up from school and she came home, went to the bathroom and called to me--"Look mom, two undies!!!" She wore clean undies over day old dirty undies all day at school-NICE! Good job mom!

Mamma Fuzzy Drivers

I am little mamma fuzzy today...the world seems fuzzy due to my sleep deprevation. Adam and I lucked out this time around and got a GERD baby. Not only does this child use all different baby gear because she has to be upright all the time (no bouncers, baby carseats, co-sleepers, cradle hold slings...only upright in swings, excersaucers, johnny jumpers and moby wrap or bjorn carriers!), but she disrupts my sleep ALOT. She sleeps fine, but I am up...she sleeps her first sleep in a travel swing for four-ish hours-but enevitably I am folding laundry, on the computer, picking up, showering, watching CLAD college course DVDs (I'm taking 12 units on top of a part time job and full time mommy!), or the many other things I need to do without baby. Then I get to bed and she inevitably calls to nurse, so I bring her to bed. Now my first child would lay on her side and tummy to tummy nurse off and on while we both snoozed peacefully through the night. But, Gwynie can't or she urps in her sleep and chokes. She has to sleep upright on my chest, so I can't fall asleep until she is done nursing. Then I sleep sitting up on a boyfriend pillow with her on my chest-until she urps, chokes and sometimes pauses in her breathing. She's getting bigger, but it still scares me, so I sit bolt upright and rouse her breathing...over and over again, all night. Then about 4 or 5 she gets figety in her sleep because of her acid reflux or poop that won't come or gas or something. She sleeps till 7 ish, but once again, I don't. I should have gone to the gym this morning, but I tried to sleep while my husband had the girls. No luck really. I should have worked out-at least then I would be thin and tired, instead of chubby and tired...but, then maybe I would have fallen asleep on an elliptical machine again-I did that a couple weeks ago-really. Maybe I shouldn't be driving to dance and church later today. Be careful out there-there are mamma fuzzy drivers on the road.

a delay in the fancy

I am a girl who follows fashion. I read the magazines, I makeover people in my mind, I love mixing trends with my simple basics, I love wearing makeup and sparkly things, I LOVE a great dress and funky heels, you get the idea...I love being a girl. But this stage of life I haved dubbed in my more frustrated moments as "infancy confinement" has brought a delay in the fancy. As I sit here ready for a day of work meetings with my infant in tow, checking emails and typing one handedly while I nurse I survey the outfit I have assembled-no fancy. I know I'll get it back-in a few years...but, I no longer wear dangly earrings (they get pulled out by little hands), no necklaces (once again pulled and it's right where her head lays while sleeping in a carrier), no bulky braclets (hard for nursing), no dresses (once again hard for nursing :), not many heels (flats are better for balance with a baby strapped to your chest), no sequins sewn to my clothes (they scratch baby), no cute trendy purses (mine is a makeup bag stuffed in my diaper bag-which is a beautiful petunia pickle bottom thanks to loving friends and an awesome husband :), and most days no toenail polish or makeup simply because I can't find the time. Oh, to be cute, funky me again!!! I love my role as mother, and I make all these choices for the love of my infant, but I do miss my fanciness.

Ode to MobyWrap

I wear this wrap everyday, but today I wore my 15 lb. 3 month old for 7 hours in my MobyWrap around Disneyland...and it is awesome. Very Shiny (as they say in Firefly). My back does not hurt, and she had a great time. I am a seasoned baby wearer and have used Over the Shoulder baby holder slings, maya wrap slings, new native pouches, baby bjorn front packs...and this takes the prize (though I still have and use the others on occasion). I don't leave home without this one-and the best part is that Adam wears it too!

isn't she lovely?

It is amazing how much you can love each child in turn. I thought my heart was full with Agatha. But, Gwyneth just melts in my heart. She is so beautiful, isn't she? I just want to cuddle up with her and kiss her yummy smelling little neck and listen to her giggle.

a full day of homeschooling

We had an amazing day of schooling today. We are structured unschoolers-in that we do unschooling which is childlead with a bit of structure to make sure we are doing something. Today we were so productive...we visited Great Gramps McIntyre and discussed how to look people in the eye while responding, how to behave in an older person's home, and how to be polite.

...we reviewed our five reading books and learned a new one with the words WE and HAVE. She shared it with Gramps to great applause.

We did this awesome research project and diagram report on a Sea Kelp Forest. Let me digress a description because the teacher in me is proud of this one-we researched Seaweed on Wikipedia and made kelp with waterballoon leaves and floaters on a string tied to a rock. They are in the aqua water in our punchbowl and there are fish taped to outside as the fish living in the forest. She made a diagram on a photo I took of the original find in Carpinteria that inspired this all. Then dictated a report of all we learned including that kelp is actually an algae! OK digression finished.

She "jammed" for her baby sister and played Twinkle Twinkle and Ode to Joy with harmony. Whew. It was a great day-I triumphed-I balanced a teething 3 month old and did all this with my hard to focus, very energetic 4 year old while Dad was at work...but can someone come over and fold my clean laundry?...all 7 loads of it. :) Too bad I am not a wonder woman who can do it all, hey?