Missing art

I miss creating art. I am a printmaker of mostly Monotype prints, but have worked in watercolor and acrylic over the years. I have my very own press and inks that I have tried in the past to set up in the corner of my small home, but with kids and various guests it has always been a challenge to keep it up. Plus, right now it is near impossible to get make-up on and keep up on laundry and vacuuming with my infant, four year old and part time job. So, I haven't worked since I was pregnant 6 or so months ago. This is a piece I displayed at the Riverside Art Museum, where I am member. I love being involved in art and the art community, but I am so out of it right now. I recently went to a LA Printmaker's Society and Jesus Cruz prints opening at RAM with the fam and popped into a Monotype seminar put on by my mentor Ron Pokrasso (that I would have attended had I not been in infancy confinement). I can feel myself getting anxious to work again. I know the time is coming, my little girl is only getting older and my soon-to-be-finished garage/art studio will be here (I hope) this Fall/Winter, but I miss art. I miss creating. I miss being in those moments of expression. Especially after the day I had yesterday!

Infancy Flaky Friend

I am reviewing my day and realized I flaked on this friend for the second time because of my infancy confinement stage of life. Motherhood makes us so forgetful and our days have to flex so much!!! Holly is one of my favorite girls and I crave our times together. She lived in our home for a while, she married one of our best friends, Rodrigo and has become one of my best friends...I was in her wedding dangit and now I stood her up for lunch a month ago and coffee today! Holly, I am a big doof-I had a teething baby and I stayed home in my PJs with stinky pits until I absolutely had to go out to pick up Agatha from Preschool. Please forgive me. Why is it that we as women when we get busy we seem to sacrifice the thing we need most in our feminity-our connection with other women?

Mamma Fuzzy Drivers

I am little mamma fuzzy today...the world seems fuzzy due to my sleep deprevation. Adam and I lucked out this time around and got a GERD baby. Not only does this child use all different baby gear because she has to be upright all the time (no bouncers, baby carseats, co-sleepers, cradle hold slings...only upright in swings, excersaucers, johnny jumpers and moby wrap or bjorn carriers!), but she disrupts my sleep ALOT. She sleeps fine, but I am up...she sleeps her first sleep in a travel swing for four-ish hours-but enevitably I am folding laundry, on the computer, picking up, showering, watching CLAD college course DVDs (I'm taking 12 units on top of a part time job and full time mommy!), or the many other things I need to do without baby. Then I get to bed and she inevitably calls to nurse, so I bring her to bed. Now my first child would lay on her side and tummy to tummy nurse off and on while we both snoozed peacefully through the night. But, Gwynie can't or she urps in her sleep and chokes. She has to sleep upright on my chest, so I can't fall asleep until she is done nursing. Then I sleep sitting up on a boyfriend pillow with her on my chest-until she urps, chokes and sometimes pauses in her breathing. She's getting bigger, but it still scares me, so I sit bolt upright and rouse her breathing...over and over again, all night. Then about 4 or 5 she gets figety in her sleep because of her acid reflux or poop that won't come or gas or something. She sleeps till 7 ish, but once again, I don't. I should have gone to the gym this morning, but I tried to sleep while my husband had the girls. No luck really. I should have worked out-at least then I would be thin and tired, instead of chubby and tired...but, then maybe I would have fallen asleep on an elliptical machine again-I did that a couple weeks ago-really. Maybe I shouldn't be driving to dance and church later today. Be careful out there-there are mamma fuzzy drivers on the road.

a delay in the fancy

I am a girl who follows fashion. I read the magazines, I makeover people in my mind, I love mixing trends with my simple basics, I love wearing makeup and sparkly things, I LOVE a great dress and funky heels, you get the idea...I love being a girl. But this stage of life I haved dubbed in my more frustrated moments as "infancy confinement" has brought a delay in the fancy. As I sit here ready for a day of work meetings with my infant in tow, checking emails and typing one handedly while I nurse I survey the outfit I have assembled-no fancy. I know I'll get it back-in a few years...but, I no longer wear dangly earrings (they get pulled out by little hands), no necklaces (once again pulled and it's right where her head lays while sleeping in a carrier), no bulky braclets (hard for nursing), no dresses (once again hard for nursing :), not many heels (flats are better for balance with a baby strapped to your chest), no sequins sewn to my clothes (they scratch baby), no cute trendy purses (mine is a makeup bag stuffed in my diaper bag-which is a beautiful petunia pickle bottom thanks to loving friends and an awesome husband :), and most days no toenail polish or makeup simply because I can't find the time. Oh, to be cute, funky me again!!! I love my role as mother, and I make all these choices for the love of my infant, but I do miss my fanciness.

Tattoo #4

I got another tattoo a few days ago(I have four now). This is now at the base of my neck or top of my back depending how you look at it. It was a 30th birthday present from my wonderful husband. I know alot of people get butterflies, but I wasn't trying to be original. I feel like I have been in a cocoon for a few years now in my feminity and artistic expression. My life has been consumed by Motherhood and all its responsiblities. I am still smack in the middle with a three month old, but somehow turning 30 and having my last (I think :) child has helped me to feel like I am finally emerging. I have been waiting. Waiting with God, waiting with art, waiting with what I am going to find purpose in this next stage of life. I am now starting to find it. I want to make prints, I want to help women grow in faith, I want to love my husband, I want to nuture my daughters, I want to celebrate my girls (my term for friends), I just am finding wings to move into this stage of life. That is why I got a butterfly.

But, tattoo people are funny. We walk in and I have an appointment with Ian. I found him at a local tattoo show because I wanted a new artist. Ian is not in yet. Fine, I am early. I nurse my baby and wait. 15 minutes later a guy comes up and says he wants my reference piece so he can draw it. OK. Then another 10 minutes later a guy comes up and says he's going to do the work because Ian is in jail. Jail? I mean, this is a nice shop. It's new, it's respectable-it's not what all our parents are afraid of when they hear tattoo parlor. It's upscale. You would think they would have told me when I walked in. Tattoo people are funny.