Today was hard. I am feeling overwhelmed. I have too much work-I think I need to cut back...again. I have too much school-to keep my credential...for work. I am loosing yet another close friend to a move I think. My husband's amazing, blessing on my life assistant is moving home to her family. I tried to get involved in a few ministries to connect with women again...and now with reflection think I moved on too quickly. The kids are very demanding on my time with a GERD infant and four year old who homeschools, doesn't watch TV and recently gave up her nap. My house is a wreck with laundry everywhere, dishes piled up and trash to be taken out. I have cried alot today. I have prayed alot today. But then my daughter and I came across this picture. I am nursing here, I am with my girls, I am a mom. That is where I belong right now. That is where I have chosen to be. I need to cherish these moments and be in these moments. Everything else can wait. It is lonely here though. I have girlfriends to raise kids with and they just keep moving away. What is that? I know they are a phone call away-but it isn't the same. I guess it all boils down to God and your immediate family. I need to be content in that. I need to depend on that. I still feel sad today, though. Maybe it is the rainy weather. Maybe it is the Fall. Maybe I just need to find the beauty in what is in front of me-those two precious girls.
6 comments:
You are such a great mom, you give up so much to be a great mom, I admire that in you. Love ya
Hang in there. Sounds like a little
bit of late hitting hormones may be out of whack (Don't you just hate it when people come along and say that things are because of your hormones? How dare they?)
Motherhood is so tiring. Infants and youngsters take a lot of energy. And you- you put so much time and energy into your family; you wouldn't be just an average mom- you are an excellent mom!
The housework and laundry can wait, and so can the other things that don't really matter. Just be still with your precious kids. You'll be fine. Take a breath and hang in there.
Oh, Jessica, I hear your heart. I flashed back on the 3 1/2 weeks of consecutive chicken pox, when I sat in a rocking chair with any number of sick little girls in my arms, and cried because I was completely alone, and I was missing my friends. Cabin fever, thy name is 3 itchy kids under the age of 5. When you look at that beautiful photograph, remember that "this too shall pass" also pertains to moments like that. I love your family, and I know just how to pray for you. Love, NotRobbie
Hey girl, I just wanted to send some love your way! I know we rarely see each other except when passing in the halls of the children's wing but I am your friend. I would treasure a call from you in the desperate moments as much as a date for a pedicure!
We parent differently, I know. I kick my kids out of the house and "dump" them on my parents - you would never "dump" yours! I value those differences and there is so much I could learn from you!
I reach out when I'm down, I don't know how you cope but I suspect you are different from me in that way too. I don't know what I can do to help but whatever you need I'm here!
One more thing...you are the most intentional, focused on mothering, mom I have ever known. I have never met a better mom than you! I could never keep up. You, my friend, are an amazing mom!
Being a Mom is hard. Full of self-doubt, loneliness, fears, tears guilt but also full of sloppy kisses, smiles, laughter, and once-in-a-lifetimes.
You are a good mom! You are a wonderful wife! You are a powerful woman!
you're so brave to be so honest. a lot of people aren't, even in the somewhat anonymous world of blogging. i admire you, and i love your blog. keep up the good work- w/ your blog, family, everything- you ARE doing good work.
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